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Dating & Friendship for the Over 40s...
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Be honest with yourself and others

My friend Brian emailed me to tell me he had given it some thought about what he was looking for in a lady, he admitted that perhaps he had been a bit blinkered in wanting blonde, petite, and of a precise age. He also told me that he had changed his profile to say that he was looking for someone with a good sense of humour and for someone to share coffee, lunches and days out. And guess what? He was now getting winks and emails from a few ladies on the site.

I sent him a quick reply asking if he thought he may meet up with any of them and he replied “saying its early days yet. I don’t want to scare anyone off”. I laughed and said “why don’t you suggest just meeting someone for a coffee, that way it is not as formal as meeting someone for a meal. Plus if you meet someone for a coffee you can stay for a shorter time should you, or indeed they feel that perhaps you were not a good match”.

Personally I find meeting for a coffee with someone is a lot less stressful, if you have had quite a bit of contact with the person i.e. online and on the telephone then it actually feels like you are meeting a friend. I’ve met some lovely people that way with no pressure what so ever. Most people can tell instantly if there is a connection that can be built on and if there isn’t, well a coffee and a cake can be a very enjoyable experience with someone who is basically in the same boat as you are. Then as long as you are honest with each other at the end of the date, saying either thanks for the coffee but I don’t think we are a romantic match or thanks for the coffee it would be nice to meet up again sometime.

I met one man who was a really nice guy and we had such a laugh when we met but he was a disappointment to me because he lied about his age. I asked him why he had done that, putting on his profile that he was 59 when he was actually 64 and the photos he had online were old ones when he was younger. He said that he did it because he could meet more women (he had met over 50 ladies in the last year travelling the breath and length of Britain)!!  He was such a lovely guy with a great sense of humour but the fact he was lying about his age and photo were not helping him in his quest to find the woman of his dreams. Honesty is very important to me and a lot of other people, although I am told that a lot of women lie about their age. I could not think of anything worse than seeing disappointment on my date’s face thinking I looked different from what they expected.

Be honest and enjoy yourself.

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