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Dating & Friendship for the Over 40s...
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Be positive, be happy, look forward not back

I have to say I have found it very entertaining being a member of the Mature Free and Single website. I have met quite a few men now from the site and I have made quite a few good friends in the process. Most have lived up to expectations with only a handful not actually being what I had expected.

I had arranged to meet one man who looked lovely in his photographs, an ex-rugby player 6ft 2 a hunky looking lovely man. What he failed to tell me before we met was that he had lost five stones since his photograph online had been taken. I remember now being sat in my car in a car park of a lovely pub restaurant waiting for him to arrive. When his car pulled into the car park I jumped out and set off walking up the car park to meet him and OMG,  how could that be the same man he was like a shrunken version of the photo I had seen online. He looked about 10 years older.  I was so disappointed we went into the pub and he proceeded to tell me all about his ex and blamed his weight loss on all the stress of his separation. I can sympathize with anyone but not for a full evening!  He was obviously not ready to begin dating again, far from it, I felt sorry for him and wished him well and then we went our separate ways.

It is not an attractive quality to speak badly of an ex when you first meet someone, even if we do feel badly done by. To tell someone your life story on the first date is a big no no.  I had that experience with another man who proceeded to tell me that his ex-wife had left him for another woman expecting me to be shocked, I wasn’t I was just surprised that he was calling her such awful names when she was, after all the mother of his children !  That date must have been the shortest date ever and I seriously thought about seeing if there was a back exit in the pub to get away from him. In the end I told him that I did not think we were a match and left him a little bit stunned by my honesty. (No doubt I would be the topic of conversation on his next date)!

The best dates for me are informal ones, perhaps a coffee in a garden center. I prefer to meet for an hour or so to see if we connect and have some sort of attraction for each other. That illusive spark! Although to be honest some people can grow on us and everyone should be given a chance. Nerves can give the wrong impression and make some people talk either too much or not talk at all.  Just remember we are all human, we all have feelings and dating in later life can be a scary experience. So be kind.

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