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Dating & Friendship for the Over 40s...
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A new member

 

It’s strange but I can normally tell by a photograph if I am going to have a connection with someone I was browsing the Mature Free and Single website when someone viewed my profile. I immediately took notice, thinking hmm, I like the look of this man. Was he going to send me a message?  Come on; Come on send me a message  I said to myself.

A few moments later a message came through I was so happy.  It was strange because he was much older than what I normally go for, but there was something about his face and his eyes that I could not look away from, suddenly age did not matter. I just felt that I wanted to meet this man.

Normally I would spend time emailing someone getting to know them, and then after a week progress to the telephone and take it from there but this time it was different.

We exchanged a couple of emails then went on to the chat facility which once again its something that  I don’t normally use, but I have to say I was very impressed with the speed of it,  and I found it much better than emailing and then waiting for the response to come back.

I even enjoyed using the icons and kept adding little faces alongside the text just to make to make him smile. We chatted for a while and then we agreed to chat the day after.

The next day  I logged on to the site and we exchanged a few more emails, I gave him my mobile number which again is something that I do not normally do so early on, but I knew somehow that it was the right thing to do.

He arranged to ring me the following day so we could have a proper chat. What would he sound like? Voices, like photographs are quite important to me. I finished work at 2pm and came home and began doing the usual jobs around my home wondering what time he would ring.

At 4pm my mobile rang and I answered it to hear a lovely well spoken voice saying, hello Elaine. We chatted for around 40 minutes and the time just flew by. I knew that this man was someone who I wanted to meet and that he was going to become at the very least a good friend and maybe even more, time would tell.

When our conversation was drawing to a close, I found myself thinking in my head, Come on ask me out.  He is a newcomer to online dating and I think like all of us he was a little worried of rejection. He said I will leave it to you if you would like to meet me I do not want to put any pressure on you.  

 I knew five minutes in to the conversation that I wanted to meet him, very few people stimulate me intellectually and the thought of meeting him was very appealing.

I would love to meet you I said and a date was set for the following Sunday to have lunch together.    🙂

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Who should make the first move part two.

 

After tossing and turning all night thinking about the good looking guy online that I was waiting to ask me out I woke up resembling a hedgehog, which was not a good look. Hmm, I thought looking in the mirror, if he could see me now he would never ask me out.

Patting my hair down I made my way into the kitchen to make my morning cup of tea and carried it in to the lounge and turned on my laptop

I logged on to the Mature Free and Single website to see if I had received an email from him. Damn! no email from him, what was this guy playing at.

I looked at the diary entries and sure enough there was one written by him which was titled. How much do you want to meet me? I tutted in disgust this man had some front I felt that his entry was directed at me. I read on scowling at the screen.

Would you be confident and brave enough to ask a man out for a date?  Surely it would not be a problem for any women on a dating site to make the first move.   Let’s face it that is why we are online to meet new people. So what is stopping you? Are you frightened of rejection?

I quickly type in a diary entry of my own.

Are you frightened of rejection?

Many people who join a dating site still feel a little vulnerable to begin with. Lets face it, dating online is similar to dating in the real world apart from you don’t have to take rejection face to face. But rejection can still hurt no matter how thick skinned you are. Some women like to be perused or is that old fashioned nowadays.

I hit the send button and logged off to get ready for work. I came home for lunch and logged on to the dating site and checked my email box, nothing;  but once again I found another diary entry which he had written in response to mine.

Less chance of rejection on a dating site

The beauty of online dating is that everyone is on there to find either new friendship or potential lifetime partners. Therefore, surely the chance of rejection is much lower. Unlike when you are in a pub or bar and your smiling across a crowded room at someone who a few minutes later is stood with their arms round their subsequent other half! Come on be brave ask someone out today. What have you got to lose I am sure they would accept. BE BRAVE ELAINE

He typed my name Elaine, does he mean me? There are probably lots of Elaine’s online. Feeling brave I clicked on to his profile and hovered across the email, suddenly I received a wink from him. He was online and it was me that he was directing the diary entries to. Smiling I quickly typed an email saying simply:

So when are we meeting then? I love online dating 🙂

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Who should make the first move?

 

After logging on to the Mature Free and Single website I noticed that once again I had been viewed by one particular man, everyday he looked at my profile but never made any contact. I wondered if he was shy or if was plucking up courage to send me a wink or maybe send me an email message.

I decided that I would start looking at his profile everyday, then he would be aware that I had noticed that he was looking at me. For the next few days I viewed his profile and he viewed mine and then suddenly I got a wink

Result at last a wink, I waited an hour or so then winked back (I did not want to seem too keen) even if I was. I had another sneaky look and noticed that he had gone offline. Ah well tomorrows another day. I quickly penned a diary entry then logged off and went to bed.

The next evening I logged on and went straight into my emails to see if he had sent me a message, nothing! I looked to see if he had looked at my profile and he had, I also noted that he had been online earlier because he had done a diary entry.

Who should make the first move, ha ha I thought, very funny.  His diary entry continued: In this day of equality should the man make the first move and contact a woman online or should it be the woman who contacts the man?

 Now I am of the mind that if a man contacts a woman he is keen, where as if a woman contacts a man, he may think, ah well she looks okay so I might as well go out with her.

No I thought I will wait to see if he contacts me. Shortly after reading his diary entry I noticed he viewed my profile again. I smiled to myself and thought yes I know your there but this lady is waiting to be asked.

I decided that I was going to write a diary entry saying that a woman liked to be perused by a man clicked the sent button and almost immediately it was approved and online. Now this back fired on me slightly as I instantly got a few emails from the cheeky older members saying hey lass if you want a night out I will take you out for a pie and a pint.

I replied politely saying thanks for the offer but I am waiting for one man in particular to ask me out.  It got quite late and as I had to be up early in the morning I logged off and went to bed.

I tossed and turned all night thinking why is he not emailing me he had winked at me, but he had not emailed. It was very strange. Hmm, perhaps there was a little bit of a battle of wills going on here.

To be continued:

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No regrets

 

I have made many friends on the Mature Free and Single website and I enjoy hearing about their dating experiences and outcomes. One particularly good friend who I talk to every week on the phone is an older gentleman who lives miles away from me in the South of England. We connected online straight away because we both have the same sense of humour and we used to encourage each other when we had down moments. We talked each other through our frustrations, when we thought that we might never find that special someone with who we could connect with fully.

 I know we will always be life long friends. I have followed his experiences online with interest. He went out with 7 ladies before he found the woman of his dreams. Yes he had ups and downs and used to say: “Is it all worth it Elaine” ? I used to say “Of course it is, life is all about timing and when the time is right then the right person will appear for you”.

He met all the ladies for a coffee and a cake usually in a local garden centre and always arrived early, dressed smartly to impress.  He was surprised that a few of the ladies who he met did not make an effort and arrived in a pair of jeans and in his own words, looked as if they had made very little effort.

What is it they say, you only get one chance to make a good impression!  When he met the final lady who he believes is the one for him. He was impressed how she carried herself. She had made the effort and looked very smart. Her manners were impeccable; she arrived on time and showed a genuine interest in all what he had to say.

They had a coffee and then walked around the garden center looking at various plants and sharing memories with each other because lets face it you do not get to 74 without a lot of memories

My friend had been married for 51 years before becoming widowed and his new lady had been married and widowed twice. Yes they could have decided that at their age dating another person was not an option.  

But no, they made the effort and have found so much pleasure in each other. They go for long walks, share meals together and have arranged coach trips together, which lets face it are much better if you have someone to go with.

He said to me yesterday on the phone, “Elaine I was so near to giving up at times, dating can be hard your hopes can be dashed.  But I am so pleased I carried on because if I had not done so then I would not now be with the women who i believe will be with me for the rest of my life”.

“Was it worth it I asked”?  “100 percent was his reply, 100 percent. I would recommend to everyone that it  is definitely worthwhile becoming a member of the Mature Free and Single website”.

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Is he the one?

I had been emailing someone on the mature free and single website for quite a while and then we decided to have a chat on the phone. I have to be honest, you can tell a lot about a person by their voice, which may sound like a funny thing to say but lets be honest even David Beckham’s voice is a bit of a let down when you hear it.  Shallow! How you dare call me shallow I am just being honest.

Anyway the evening arrived and at 7pm on the dot my mobile rang. I answered the phone with trepidation hoping that my nerves would not make me sound like Minnie Mouse! A deep voice, Brilliant I had managed to jump the first hurdle. We chatted for about half an hour discussing various topics and then we agreed that we would meet up the following Saturday for a coffee in a quaint little pub restaurant in Holmfirth. I was really excited.

I took a lot of care getting ready I wanted to go for the smart but casual look I did not want to arrive looking like I was having an evening out on the town likewise I did not want to look like I had not made an effort. I chose a pair of black jeans with a lemon blouse and flat shoes.

I arrived just in time and walked across the car park and saw him waiting in the doorway we waved to each other and finally after 4 weeks of emailing we were standing face to face.

He had a pleasant smiley face not exactly what I was expecting but at least he was smiling although he was obviously nervous just as I was. We walked in to the dimly lit pub and ordered a coffee each. Then we started the usual conversation about mature online dating and what we both thought of it. He had been on the site on and off for the last 6 months and had been on various dates. He was amusing and I found myself warming to him. We laughed at our various renditions re online dating.

All in all in was a very pleasant first meeting but something was missing. He felt more of a friend than a potential love interest. We drank our coffee and then made our way to the car park.

We both smiled at each other and then almost together said it was lovely meeting you BUT: then we both laughed. Yes we both admitted although having a lovely time we both felt that perhaps we were not suited to each other in a romantic way. This does happen with online dating but if you are mature and honest about our feelings then no one gets hurt.

We gave each other a kiss on the cheek said goodbye and never saw each other again.   Back to the drawing board!  

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Dating is not always easy

 

One day when perusing the Mature Free and Single website I came across a profile that struck a cord with me. Phil 61, from Manchester. He looked really good in his photographs.  I began to read his profile which said the following:

Hi my name is Phil and I am 61 and I am not sure if I should really be on a dating site, but due to feeling quite lonely I thought I would give it a go. I gave up work last year to care for my elderly father who is 86. And although it can be rather difficult, it is the least that I can do for a great dad.

That profile melted my heart. I had seen quite a few members online who were undertaking a caring role for an elderly parent or relative, who were now on the site looking to make friends and after helping take care for my father I knew just how difficult a carers life can be.

I quickly emailed him saying that he had a great profile which I found very honest and sincere. He replied back a week later apologizing that he had not responded sooner because he had been really busy.

We then starting emailing each other every few days and I found myself looking forward to his messages which were always humorous and uplifting.  He admitted to me one day that he would really like to meet me in person and after organizing someone to  sit with his father we met up for the very first time.

He was great company and we laughed all evening. He admitted that he had been doubtful about joining a dating site because he did not know if anyone would want to meet up with him, because he could not commit to what he called a normal relationship, because he would not be able to see anyone on a regular basis.

I responded by saying surely it is quality rather than quantity and that I would much rather go out once in a while and really enjoy it.  At the end of the evening we both agreed it had been a success and said we would like to meet up again.

We continued to email each other every few days then both agreed it would be nice to Skype each other which to be honest felt like a date, obviously I had taken care to look good on camera and he looked as if he had made the effort too.  He had to excuse himself a couple of time to check up on his father but soon came back to talk some more.

We had our second date a few weeks later and had our first kiss. With all the skyping I felt like we had known each other for ages and we constantly laughed with each other about our virtual relationship.

Yes things were a little difficult and not the normal dating scenario but never the less really enjoyable.   I was really pleased that we had become close. It would not be like this forever and in my mind here was a man that was worth waiting for.

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