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Dating & Friendship for the Over 40s...
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Special Diary Entry

 

One thing I enjoy about being on the Mature Free and Single dating website are the diary entries. Believe me you can get to know a lot about a person through what they write in their diary entries. I had been watching the diaries of one particular man with interest. He sounded lovely, very level headed and he always appeared to have a positive attitude, which is a very attractive quality in a man.

He was always posting entries about his life and the adventures he had experienced, which sounded so exciting to me. I had sent him the occasional email and he always responded thanking me for taking the time to email him.

It was hard to know if he thought of me as a potential date though. Yes he lived near me tick…  And he was in the right age group for me …tick. But how was I going to let him know I was interested.

Now I am all for women going for what they want, but I am old fashioned in the sense that men are the hunters and they are the ones to do the hunting. So how could I do this?

I decided to post a diary entry which said.

I have been on the site for 3 months now and although I have been out on several dates I have not found the person who I would like more than friendship with. I am looking for a man who is intelligent, non judgmental aged 56 preferably with blue eyes dark hair and 6ft 2 living in the Manchester area

I could not have made it any clearer had I named him. Now it was the waiting game. My diary entry was accepted and went live online, I was so nervous. What if he just ignored it! 

Now he normal went online daily and I logged on a few times that day to see if he was online. Both times I noted that he had not been online ….. It was torture for me waiting. I got a few emails from other members saying I may not be dark haired with all the other qualities that you have stated but will I do? I had a giggle and emailed them back saying good try but I am after one man on the site and this is a way of finding out if he is interested in me.

He never came online that day or the next and on the third day he appeared, I was in such a state I thought well he has missed my diary entry by three days he probably wont even see it .

Then a message appeared in my inbox

Hi Elaine  for the last 2 days I have been ill with a cold and I have not been on line but suddenly I feel a lot better because I am 56, blue eyed with dark hair. I am 6ft 2 living in Manchester area and I seem to fit the description of who you are looking for. How about meeting for a coffee and a chat?

Result!!!

    

  

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We just clicked

 

You know how it is when you just click with someone, well that is how it was with Keith. He was a new member on the site, and he had been brave enough to submit a diary entry saying it was his birthday. I emailed him and said

‘Happy Birthday, I am sure this time next year you will have a special lady in your life.’

He replied thanking me and that was it!  We started emailing in earnest to each other.

Now after a few days of several hundreds of emails, we decided to use the Skype mic to communicate. It is funny, but to me, a voice can be a make or break moment. Well, Keith did not disappoint.

He had a lovely Southern accent, and was constantly laughing. In fact, we were both laughing a lot.

I was going out that evening, and he was going to work, so we said we would email each other the day after. I was quite excited at the prospect!

The day after our Skype experience, we were back to emailing each other, but it felt like ages before the emails came through, so we decided that we would Skype with both volume and video. 

The funny thing was, I did not feel nervous at the prospect at all. I just knew that we would get on.

Keith lives three and a half hours away, and I am always one to say that long distance relationships can be challenging, but there was no harm in Skyping, so at the allotted time I signed on, and he was there smiling into the camera. That was 6.30pm, we just talked and talked about everything and anything, with no awkward silences, and we were both constantly laughing at each other.

He had never been on a mature dating site before, and everything was new to him. I was telling him about all the friends I had made during my time on the site, the dates that I had been on, and the lovely people I had met.

The next time I looked at the clock it was 10pm, and we were both shocked at how long we had been chatting to each other. We decided to call it a night and arranged to chat a few days later.

Next day, I looked online to check my emails, and there was one from Keith.

‘Hi Elaine’, he said, ‘I really enjoyed chatting to you last night. Please can we do it again soon?’

I smiled to myself and typed back a reply saying I will look forward to it.

This online dating can be very entertaining x

 

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A different first date.

 

I was watching the clock move slowly round all day, tonight was my first date with someone from the mature free and single website. He was more mature than me, being 61 to my 56, but he had such good manners and a lovely way with him. After chatting on the phone a few times, we agreed to meet up.

We arranged to meet up at a nearby Sunday market, which I thought was a refreshing change from meeting at a pub, coffee bar, or restaurant. I dressed casually but smart, he had looked smart in his photographs and I did not want to turn up too casual.

He was there when I arrived, although I felt a certain amount of nerves. I suppose it is only natural that first meetings can even make the most seasoned dater a little apprehensive. However, I had nothing to worry about; he was everything I expected him to be. He was wearing a pair of cream chinos and a colourful checked shirt.

He gave me a small kiss on the cheek, and I noticed he smelt really nice, which is always a big plus in a man.

‘Shall we have a wander round the market’, he said, ‘and grab a coffee in the café’.

‘That would be good’ I replied, and we started our walk through the busy market, stopping at some stalls and admiring their produce.

We found the café and he asked ‘coffee or tea Elaine, or would you like a soft drink?’

‘A tea will be fine, thank you’ I replied. He bought two cups of tea and a couple of Kit-Kats, and sat down across from me.

Finally, I could take a good look at him. He had a nice friendly, open face with a big smile. He certainly did not look 61, more mid 50’s.

He began telling me about previous date he had been on, and I noticed he was always a half full kind of man. This was quite refreshing, after having a few dates where the man was rather negative, and frankly a little boring, talking about ex-partners. I appreciate we can get to our age without some history, but I prefer to leave my baggage at the airport and not carry it around with me.

We drank our tea, ate our Kit-Kats, and then carried on looking round the market. As usual, I was drawn toward the stalls with jewellery; I bought myself a lovely little bracelet and a pair of matching earrings. My date was interested in the stall that was selling memorabilia, and bought some old postcards. He went on to tell me he collected them, and had many albums at home, which he was in the process of filling.

By now, it was lunchtime, and we decided to go in to a beautiful little fish restaurant. We ate a lovely lunch of haddock and chips, tea, and bread and butter, all of which he insisted he paid for, for which I was very grateful. Then we made our way back to the car park.

All in all, a very nice first date.

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Something in common

 

I was surfing the Mature, Free and Single website one night, reading profiles, when I came across one that caught my eye. 5ft 11, Hmm, okay to my 5ft 8, non-smoker, good, another plus, family man with a sense of humour, great.

After seeing he was online I decided to send him a cheeky wink to see how the land lay. Sending a wink is a good icebreaker to see if the man would indeed be interested in me.

I did not have to wait long before a wink was returned. Mmm good, what now. I re-read his profile and noticed that he was into sailing.  After many trips on the Norfolk Broads, I decided to send a message.

‘Hi Tony, I see you like boats, I used to have a boat on the Norfolk Broads, have you ever been there?’

He replied a few minutes later,

‘Hi Elaine, thanks for the message. Yes I know the Norfolk Broads well; would you like to chat online?’

Now, instant messaging is a good way to get to know someone without interruption, so we began chatting and found we had lots in common.

Like me, he had four grandchildren, we both loved boats, and we both had the same taste in music. His humour came across online and I found myself giggling at the screen. He was also a good typist which is always a help and he could spell too!

In no time, we had been chatting for two hours, comparing our dating experiences, and what we thought to the site, which was all positive. We agreed it was time to say goodnight but made arrangements to chat again the next night. Then we saved each other as a favourite, which makes it easier to find each other, next time we came online

I was all excited, he seemed really nice, I even had a few butterflies which is always a plus.

The night, at the agreed time, I went online and noticed he also was. I instant messaged him to let him know I was online, and he replied, saying ‘hello’ in a matter of seconds. I smiled to myself. He is keen I thought with a satisfied grin.

Again, we were chatting and the time flew. In no time, it was time for bed. It was obvious that we both wanted to carry on chatting, but work the next day prevented it. We decided to exchange our mobile numbers, because without doubt we wanted to meet up and see if that elusive spark was present. We had it online, but the truth is in the meeting.

We signed off and then within seconds we were texting each other. We were like teenagers, and it felt good. We both agreed to talk on the phone the next night, and I went to bed with a big smile on my face.

The following night my mobile rang. I looked at the screen, and it was his number, now I really had butterflies, I picked up my phone with a smile and said ‘Hello…’

To be continued :   

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First Meeting

 

I was watching the clock move slowly round all night, excited with the thought of  my first date with someone from the mature free and single website.

He was more mature than me, being 61 to my 56, but he had such good manners and a lovely way with him. After chatting on the phone a few times, we agreed to meet up.

We arranged to meet up at a nearby Sunday market, which I thought was a refreshing change from meeting at a pub, coffee bar, or restaurant. I dressed casually but smart, he had looked smart in his photographs and I did not want to turn up too casual.

He was there when I arrived, although I felt a certain amount of nerves. I suppose it is only natural that first meetings can even make the most seasoned dater a little apprehensive. However, I had nothing to worry about; he was everything I expected him to be. He was wearing a pair of cream chinos and a colourful checked shirt.

He gave me a small kiss on the cheek, and I noticed he smelt really nice, which is always a big plus in a man.

‘Shall we have a wander round the market’, he said, ‘and grab a coffee in the café’.

‘That would be good’ I replied, and we started our walk through the busy market, stopping at some stalls and admiring their produce.

We found the café and he asked ‘coffee or tea Elaine, or would you like a soft drink?’

‘A tea will be fine, thank you’ I replied. He bought two cups of tea and a couple of Kit-Kats, and sat down across from me.

Finally, I could take a good look at him. He had a nice friendly, open face with a big smile. He certainly did not look 61, more mid 50’s.

He began telling me about previous date he had been on, and I noticed he was always a half full kind of man. This was quite refreshing, after having a few dates where the man was rather negative, and frankly a little boring, talking about ex-partners. I appreciate we can get to our age without some history, but I prefer to leave my baggage at the airport and not carry it around with me.

We drank our tea, ate our Kit-Kats, and then carried on looking round the market. As usual, I was drawn toward the stalls with jewellery; I bought myself a lovely little bracelet and a pair of matching earrings. My date was interested in the stall that was selling memorabilia, and bought some old postcards. He went on to tell me he collected them, and had many albums at home, which he was in the process of filling.

By now, it was lunchtime, and we decided to go in to a beautiful little fish restaurant. We ate a lovely lunch of haddock and chips, tea, and bread and butter, all of which he insisted he paid for, for which I was very grateful. Then we made our way back to the car park.

All in all, a very nice first date.

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Taking a photo

 

Now if you are anything like me, you won’t particularly enjoy having your photograph taken. It feels even worse when you think that lots of members of the opposite sex will be viewing you in all your glory!

I think that it is important to have a photograph online, otherwise, you probably won’t attract the person you would like to attract. Let’s be honest, not having a photograph on a profile is being a little bit optimistic that you are going to be contacted at all, unless it is by a like minded soul who also wants to remain faceless! 

I have tried the experiment of not having a photo displayed, and wandered around the site, messaging people, only to be in the main ignored! Then, amazingly, when a photo goes back online, the messages are returned, and people send winks and messages. This proves to me that photographs work!

It amuses me, when I am messaged by a faceless person, then asked to see more of me!

When I take any photos, I tend to take lots, because it is very rare that if you take a dozen, only one of them will be what you feel happy with. I have noticed that some members leave just one or two photos that are maybe years old. WHY? Doing that can only lead to disappointment.

I once had a date with an ex-rugby player. I had seen his photo online, and thought ‘Mmm, nice and hunky’, only to meet up with him, and he had lost three and a half stones. The photo had been a snap taken on holiday, when he was rested and tanned; now it was a different version, much lighter in both colour and weight that met me on the date!

Also, a photograph alone is better than a group shot, where the would-be dater is in the middle, behind a group of friends. Or hiding behind a dog. Or a dot on the horizon, or under a floppy hat. I could go on and on.  

I decided one day that I would ask my daughter to help me out, take some photographs, and we actually had lots of fun. It was hard to be serious; it was like a fashion show, with me running in and out of the room, trying on various outfits. Only to walk through the door to be told –

 ‘No Mum, that’s not a good look’

When I eventually had a collection, I rotated them, to keep the interest of other members, as well of the new members who are joining daily.

All in all, this mature dating is a lot of fun, and if you can get your profile and photograph right, then the world really is your oyster.

Happy fishing x

 

 

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