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Dating & Friendship for the Over 40s...
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Friends or More?

Elaine

Finally, the guy I had fancied for a few months said would I like to meet up for a drink, as friends. He had always been honest with me, that he was not looking for a full blown relationship because he enjoyed his single status, and after 20 odd years alone, he felt it would be very hard to change his ways

I was all singing and dancing, thinking maybe I could convert him in to wanting a full blown relationship. I just felt I needed to get in front of him to show him just what a nice person I am.

We arranged to meet one Sunday evening in a lovely village location. I dressed with care and almost skipped into the pub where we were meeting. I scanned the bar area until I saw him, sitting in the corner smiling over at me. He beckoned me over, and gave me a kiss on my cheek. I just had a big beam on my face, it was so strange to actually meet him after emailing him for a few months, and never thinking I would meet him.

He was smiling back at me and said ‘What?’

I just smiled and said ‘this seems so bizarre, after emailing for so long’

‘Am I what you expected?’  I asked him

‘Well, you look like your photo’, he replied, and he did, as well.

Photos are all well and good but when you actually see someone, and they are moving around, you can get a completely different view of them, so to speak

He bought me a drink and we sat on high bar stools and chatted. He was asking me about my previous dates, and was having a bit of fun pretending to be one of them, and stroking my hand.

The strange thing was, I did not feel uncomfortable. I felt like I had known him for years and I was really enjoying myself.

We sat together until almost closing time, chatting about life, the site, and past relationships. He told me I was the first person he had met from the site, but he was not looking for romance, only friendship. My heart sunk a little, but I respected his wishes.  All we could do was smile at each other.

It is a meeting I will never forget.

When the night ended he walked me to where I had parked my car. I accepted that we were only ever going to be friends and I was honestly ok with that. I turned to him to say goodbye, and he gave me a big hug, and then kissed each of my eyes, and then my mouth…

Mmm now, this was not a kiss from a friend, I was really taken aback. When the kiss ended, he kissed me again until my head was spinning.

I opened my car door and sat inside and looked up at him, and said thanks for a lovely night and he leaned in and kissed me again.

Then he closed my car door and waved goodbye and I drove home smiling like the cat that had got the cream, feeling he was going to be a very good friend indeed.

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Cinema Date

I had been communicating with a guy called Lee for a few weeks both by email and on the phone. He seemed to blow a bit hot and cold, but when he was in a good mood, I found him a right laugh. We decided that we
would have our first night out at the cinema. I’d never been on a first date to the cinema. If I am honest, I prefer to chat to someone and look them in the eye when I first meet, that way you can get a good measure of how they are as a person.
Our date was arranged for a Friday night and we agreed to meet in the cinema foyer. It is funny choosing a film when you don’t really know someone, what do you choose? The chick flick (my favourite choice) or the action movie (his choice)? We decided we would choose when we were both together.

I was nervous as usual, and got ready with my usual Magic fm radio playing in the background. I decided I would dress down a bit, after all it was a Friday and a cinema date. I chose a pair of black jeans with a green jumper and flats (he is 5ft 9), and I did not want to be taller.

I arrived at the cinema about 15 minutes early, and after speaking to my friend on the phone for a confidence boost, I walked across the car park to the entrance.

It was quite busy, Friday night is a popular night and I walked round the foyer, trying not to look like I was waiting for someone. Instead, I pretended to look at the posters on the walls of the current movies that were showing that evening. I was partially engrossed in one poster when I heard a voice saying ‘Hi, there you are’. I spun around and there was a guy who was obviously meeting someone else, because I then heard a female voice giggling, and they
kissed and walked across to the kiosk to buy some drinks and popcorn…. Aww I thought how nice was that, and then started reading a romantic drama poster, sighing, imagining it was me on the poster with Richard Gere. Mmmm how good would that be?

I looked at my watch and was surprised to see that he was now 30 minutes late! I checked my mobile phone and I had no messages or missed calls… maybe he is stuck in traffic?  I tried to ring him but it went straight to his answer machine. I left an upbeat message, I did not want to sound like a bunny boiler,’Hi, its Elaine’ I said, ‘I am at the cinema are you on your way?’ 10 minutes later, I was stood near the door looking out towards the car park, when a message alert came on my phone, it was him. Oh good, I thought and opened the message.

‘Sorry babe I can’t make it tonight’ the text said. I shook my head, opened the door, walked out to the car, and drove home.  I live and learn, it’s not all plain sailing on a dating site.

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Margaret & Reg find companionship

Margaret & Reg met on MatureFreeAndSingle

This is Margaret, a widow aged 74 and Reg, a widower aged 83 who found each other on MatureFreeAndSingle.com. Reg first saw Margaret’s photo on the site and thought that she looked very nice lady (later found she is), Margaret looked at Reg’s profile, thought he looked nice too but a little serious. (Margaret now knows differently).

Reg winked and sent a message to Margaret and sent her his phone number and they talked for a while. A luncheon date was set for the 13th December and after a very pleasant meal we agreed to meet again after Christmas, a bunch of flowers smoothing the way. On the third meeting, 5th. Jan. Reg drove the 84 miles to Margaret’s home taking a meal he had prepared for lunch which worked a little more magic, and Margaret has visited Reg’s home. the friendship has blossomed and we have agreed not to move in together or marry in order not to upset our respective families.

We have spent some weekends together and have planned some short breaks for the future as we enjoy being together and feel at home with each others company.

Congratulations Margaret & Reg. We’re so pleased to have helped you both find each other!

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Long Distance Relationships

Long Distance affairs can be difficult, so it was with some reservation that I decided to begin chatting online to Tony.  At first I thought that it would not do any harm. He was so polite and witty.  I forgot that he lived In Norwich which is a good 4 hours drive away from me.

We progressed from emailing to chatting on the phone, and we could chat for hours on end with no problems, we decided to progress on to using Skype and then at least we could get more of a feel for each other.

Well, you would have thought it was an actual date. I took about 2
hours getting ready; I even shaved my legs and painted my toe nails!
Why, I have no idea, maybe it was a confidence thing,  it was not as if I
would be climbing on the table and doing a catwalk so he could see my
legs and feet.

I blow dried my hair and applied make up, thinking I hope I look like
my photograph, and he is not disappointed in what he sees. Near the
allotted time I turn on my laptop and fiddled with the settings to see
if I could get the webcam and mic in good working order. I then
proceeded to move it around the room to see in which light I looked
the best! Mmm I am not vain am I!

After finding the best spot near the window I was satisfied that I
looked reasonably human and checked the clock to see what time it was.
Hmm still five minutes to go … I looked at myself on the screen and
looked at what he would see behind me and nearly collapsed, a pair of
my Bridget Jones knickers were on the radiator. I jumped up and nearly
fell in my rush to move them, just has he tried to get through to me. I
pressed the ‘Accept’ button and in my haste stumbled and lost my balance,
so the first thing he saw of me was my face pressed against the
screen.

‘Hello’ he said, I quickly moved back and smoothed down my blouse which
had ridden up to show a spare tyre that would have looked good on a
four by four!

‘Hello Elaine’ he said smiling ‘are you ok?

’Yes’ I said, feeling myself going bright red, stuffing the Bridget
Jones knickers behind the cushion on my settee

‘Hi Tony how are you?’

‘So at last we meet’ Tony said. ‘It’s so different when you see
someone moving  rather than just looking at a photograph’

‘Much better’ I smiled, and said ‘Oh, so you’re not disappointed then?’

‘Not at all’ he replied, ‘you look lovely, have you got ready
especially to talk to me on here?

‘Oh no, I said, ‘this is how I am every day. I like to make an
effort’, crossing my fingers behind my back and hoping against hope that my nose was not growing like Pinocchio’s.

Mmm this webcam Is not bad at all, I could get used to this……

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Congratulations Jim & Jean!!

We’ve just had this great success story in from Jim & Jean who met on our site earlier this year, and just had to share it with you all!

Here’s their story in Jim’s words:

Jim & Jean found love on MFS

“Jean and I exchanged “winks” via your site on 25/02/13. This was followed by a first message from Jean asking if I was really as serious a person as I looked in my picture on my profile. ( a tip here for other users of the site, make sure the photo shows you smiling.) When I reassured her that I really wasn’t serious all the time we exchanged many more messages via your site. The things that attracted us to each other were our looks,we found each other pleasing on the eye,similar ages, close location to each other,the things we had in common such as music,likes and dislikes,both our outlooks on life and an ability to hold mutually interesting conversations.

Our first date was on Sat 2nd. March and we broke the ice by walking to Jean’s local pub for a drink and a long chat followed by a nice drive into our lovely Lancashire countryside, as corny as it may sound we both ended up thinking it was as if we had known each other for years instead of a matter of hours and that feeling has just kept growing ever since. Since then we have met up on numerous occasions and enjoyed lots of simple pleasures like walking Jeans little dog having an occasional meal out and visiting each others homes where we listen to some nice music whilst enjoying a kiss and a cuddle curled up together on the couch.We have also had several car trips both into the countryside and the seaside taking Jeans dog with us to have a scamper in the fields etc. I have also met Jeans daughters who I got on with very well and who seem to have given me their seal of approval. To sum up I bless the day I came onto your site and met Jean and I look forward to a very happy future with Jean at my side.

Many thanks and kind regards Jim.
PS If you decide to publish this testimony please leave our names as Jean and Jim.”

Well done and all the very best for the future, Jim & Jean!

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First time date.

First Date

First time meetings can make us all feel a little apprehensive – its all well and good emailing and talking on the phone…..but to meet someone in the flesh can make even the bravest shake a little.
Regardless of your age, this is one situation that doesn’t seem to improve with maturity!

So imagine this – after numerous emails and a few phone calls, the date is set for ‘Saturday Night!’. We agree to meet halfway at a lovely old Yorkshire country pub. Now the worrying in earnest begins.
Will he like me? will he think i look like my photo? will he like what
i am wearing? – hang on!! – what about him?! will he look like his
photo? You hear so many stories about old photo’s on profiles or
photo’s taken on holidays when we all look so glamorous and sun
kissed. The stark truth is that it is now February and how many of us
still look as trim after a long, cold winter spent eating comforting
stews and stodge?!

I decide that i need something new to wear. The dilemma now begins –
smart? smart/casual? casual? – its a wardrobe nightmare! I choose
several tops and take them into the changing room. On trying on the
first one I am horrified to see how open it is at the front (verging
on the indecent) until i realise i have put it on back to front –
typical. After trying it on the right way and nearly pulling my neck
trying to see the back I decide it looks good – the colour suits me
and it makes me feel sexy and confident (always a bonus for a first
time meeting) so that’s a yes then!

I clock watch for the rest of the afternoon – in between painting my
nails and partaking in various beauty treatment – the things we put
ourselves through in the name of beauty! About an hour before the date
I shower, do my hair and make up and get dressed. Now I don’t know
about you but when it gets near to the meeting time I start to get a
bit hyper. The adrenaline kicks in and I cant keep myself still. I
start to sing along to the radio (scarily the song is Gloria’s “i will
survive” – A good or bad omen?!)

I start to think “why do I do this to myself?” I decide to do a few
star jumps to see if I can use up some of this surplus anxiety that is
rising to the surface, but land on a shoe and fall to the bed – this
gives me the giggles which turns to an almost hysterical rant. I hear
the neighbours next door and consider I am making too much noise –
they might be concerned for my safety!

I walk out to the car like the convicted walk to the gallows (i
thought this was supposed to be fun?). I jump into the car and zip off
to the allotted meeting place. Looking around it is apparent I am here
first, so I nip back to the car to ring my mate for some moral support
– after hearing her laugh at me for 5 minutes I decide i would have
been better ‘asking the audience’ instead of phoning a ‘friend’! We
decide this has got to be better than stopping in on a Saturday…..is
it really?….and then i see a car pull in to the car park (gulp).
“Calm down” my friend advises – “take a deep breath and relax”. I am
breathing as though I am labour – almost a pant really. Not a good
look for a prospective date!

He gets out of his car and starts walking over to me – I quickly jump
out of my car,whilst trying not to stare; but this is definitely the
man in his profile picture and he is smiling (!). I turn around to
double check there is no-one behind me, but yep, he is smiling at me.
“Hi Elaine” he says, I realise that my mouth is hung open and I make a
concerted effort to shut it and I manage to squeak out a “hello – are
you Neil?”, “that’s me” he replies “pleased to meet you” and he leans
in to kiss me on the cheek. I turn my head slightly and his kiss
lands on the corner of my mouth (WOW).

He looks amazing and I seem to have lost the ability to talk which is
something quite amazing for me! He has obviously made an effort and
looks great for an over 50 and he smells divine – which is always
attractive. As we walk to the entrance of the pub I have a huge smile
on my face now and think to myself “mmmmmmm, this dating lark is quite
good really”.

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