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Dating & Friendship for the Over 40s...
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Photographs gets results part three

I could not stop smiling, I was so impressed that Ian had put a photograph on the site, but the fact he wrote about it in his diary entry absolutely amazed me so I decided to write him an email complimenting him on both his diary entry and his photograph.  I was just in the process of writing the email when I received a wink. I looked to see who it was from and it was from Ian who then instant messaged me saying “Surprise”!

You’re not joking I replied, talk about taking the bull by the horns!  Not only have you finally posted a photograph, but now also a diary entry.

He shot back “lol” and wrote “I cannot believe how liberating it has been for me, I wish I had done it sooner. I feel completely different about the site now”. He went on to tell me that he had received lots of supportive emails complimenting him on his photo and his diary entry, but the best thing was that he now felt part of the site rather than just a number.

Don’t get me wrong, to join a site like Mature Free and Single does involve putting yourself out there for all to see and for some it can be a little bit scary. Because the site is for over 40’s it follows that some of the members will have some baggage and insecurities. I know that for a fact because I felt that I may be judged because I was not a perfect size 12. I know that now, because it does seem to me that on a mature dating site some of the men are looking to find love and companionship and the body is not as important as it was in younger years.  It would appear to me that as we get older our priorities change.

I relayed this to Ian and he could see where I was coming from. Don’t get me wrong there will always be a minority of men and women who are blinkered and they are looking for someone who has a certain look, income and lifestyle before they will even enter into any communication. Everyone has the right to find the person who they believe will fulfill what they are looking for, but what keeps me looking is the fact that there are so many lovely genuine people on the site all looking for friendship and or a serious relationship.

Ian went on to tell me that he had been emailing a lady called Linda, who lived locally to him and had looked at his profile a few times, but because he did not have a photograph and his profile was very brief, she did not contact him. Then after seeing his photo and reading his diary entry, which obviously was letting his true personality come through, she decided to contact him.

We chatted for a bit longer before Ian told me that Linda had just come online and that they had both agreed to get to know a bit more about each other through chatting to each other online .

He thanked me again for suggesting he put his photograph online and we both agreed to chat again in a few days’ time.

I smiled to myself and logged off the site, hoping that things would work out well for Ian and Linda.

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Photographs gets results part two

I had been thinking about Ian at work today wondering if he would indeed get his daughter to take his photograph so that he would no longer be a grey blob on the dating site. Don’t get me wrong, I know it can be nerve racking putting yourself out there and believe me there are some critical people on the site who are looking for total perfection, which I think can be a little bit unrealistic. At the end of the day we are all human beings with flaws but it’s not always what’s on the outside that matters. You can come across the most beautiful person, who kills all your illusions when it becomes obvious that they are not a very nice person inside.

Give me a person who has a lovely warm personality over a Brad Pitt look alike any day, now Richard Gere hmm now that’s a different matter I have always had a thing for him!  Anyway I digress I could not wait to log on to the Mature Free and Single website to see if he had actually had put a photo online.

I logged on but then suddenly thought am I going to look very shallow racing to see what he looked like what if he did look like Shrek and he asked my opinion!!! Hmm perhaps if I just look to see who is online then I can take a sneaky look without him actually knowing that I have looked after all to be forewarned is to be forearmed. (Am I going into battle here?)

After spending half an hour looking through who was online It became clear that he wasn’t online yet so I logged out deciding that I would make a meal then log on later.

I logged back online at 9pm (I can tape Big Brother it is getting boring anyway) and quickly scanned through the, who’s online section. Why I was so bothered is beyond me because it’s not as if I see him as a potential date living so far away. I think I was bothered because I wanted him to find what he was looking for.  Argh he was not there! I started reading the diary entries. The usual people had submitted entries but when I scrolled down I thought I don’t recognize this guy photo. I looked at his name and was amazed to see it was Ian from Scotland not only had he put a photo online but he had wrote his very first diary entry too, which read.

“Hi, I am Ian from Scotland, I was just about to give up on this online dating lark when one member told me that I had to put a photo on my profile so people could see me and then I might get a response. After going to my daughters today and having around 30 photos taken she and I finally agreed that this was about the best of a bad lot. What do you think?”

I was actually amazed, not only because he had put a photo on the site but because he had put a diary entry online too. He had opened himself up completely and he looked really good on the photo. I can’t wait to find out what response he gets. Oh why is he not online now?.

To be continued.

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Photographs gets results

I logged on to the Mature Free and Single website and noticed straight away that I had received a message yet again from a guy called Ian, who had not put a photograph of himself on the site. He came across as a really intelligent guy who lived in Scotland and he had sent me a few emails before. I had asked him why no photo and he said he had not got round to taking one yet.

Now this baffles me, surely when you join a site like this you fill in all the necessary requirements to become a member, but let’s face it a photo is very important because along with a profile it completes the registration.

Now maybe I have a suspicious nature but my mind starts working overtime when I just see a blob on someone’s profile, hmm perhaps they have something to hide. Perhaps they don’t want to be recognized by someone else! Or they work in parliament, which one guy without a photograph told me once when I enquired “why no photo”. His response was I have a very high powered job but if he give me your private email address I will send you a photo………. Yeah right, dream on was my reply.

This is a dating site not anything to be ashamed of, lots of people meet through dating sites nowadays. I agree in the past, and I mean a long time ago when dating sites first came available, there was a little bit of a stigma but now it is the perfect way to meet someone without having to go out to bars and clubs; besides when you’re older bars and clubs don’t always hold the same appeal.

I clicked on the email to see what he had written, it was telling me that he was not having much luck on the site which he could not understand. He was looking for a serious relationship and now had got to the point where he thought the site was a waste of money.  I sent a reply back saying with respect Ian what do you expect, a lot of people have a block on anyone without a photograph not many people who are looking for more than friendships want to build up a relationship with a faceless blob.

He was quick to respond saying he had not had the time. Make time was my response. After about 5 minutes he replied saying that he felt a bit shy putting a photograph online, what if everyone thinks I am a right ugly beggar he said.

Ian, I replied, I believe that there is someone for everyone on here beauty is in the eye of the beholder but until someone can create an overall picture of someone then it’s a pointless exercise looking for love on a dating site. Maybe you disagree but that is my opinion.

I see your point he said, I will ask my daughter to take my photo tomorrow and put it online for everyone to see!

Can’t wait was my reply.

To be continued

 

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Its all in the voice.

I was waiting for a phone call and feeling rather nervous, after emailing Gareth for the last two weeks on the Mature Free and Single website we had now taken the next step and decided to talk on the phone. In the past I have found, and this may sound stupid, that it can be a make or break situation hearing someone’s voice on the phone for the very first time.

After emailing one guy for a few weeks not so long ago I agreed to talk to him on the phone and nerves aside he did sound like he had been on helium his voice was that high, either that or I was talking to Joe Pasquale.!! Hmm it’s not that I am shallow but come on, I could never have taken him seriously.

I decided to take my mind off the forthcoming phone call and switched on my laptop to read the latest diary entries, in no time at all I was giggling away at some of the regular diary writers, they wrote something most days even if it was about something that they had seen that day. It almost felt like I was a part of a huge family with ages ranging from 40 to 80 something, the diaries held something for everyone.

I wrote a few emails in response and then started looking at the new members who had joined that day. I loved the fact that I was sent all the new members in my area. I was looking through the photo’s when I came across a face I recognized it was Ian a 60 year old man that was on the site for a brief time when I joined the site. He had been really helpful to me giving me lots of good advice of how to get the best from the site. I emailed him saying “Hi remember me.” After a few minutes he responded saying “Hi yourself. I am surprised you’re still on here, I thought you would have been snapped up in your first month.” I smiled to myself and quickly wrote back. “You’re joking, I am having too much fun on here meeting lots of people”. We sent a few emails back and forth and then after both adding each other to our favorites we said our goodbyes.

I looked at my watch and could see that I still had ten minutes to go before Gareth was due to ring. I looked at my last email from him making sure that it was tonight that he was phoning me and noticed that he was online. Just at that moment an email pinged in to my inbox and it was from Gareth it read. “Hi there, how are you doing” I replied “Hi Gareth, yes, I am good thanks.”

I was feeling the adrenalin rush that came with either meeting or talking to someone for the very first time, when another email from Gareth landed in my inbox. “I am afraid I have started with a shocking cold tonight so my voice is not at its best, at the moment I sound like Joe Pasquale which is not a good first impression! Would it be okay if I phone you when I get my usual voice back??”

I fell about laughing, and quickly replied, “No problem Gareth shall we have a chat online instead?”

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Just be aware

One thing I was fast learning on the Mature Free and Single website was that like all the online dating sites one has to be aware of online scammers. The good thing about this site though is that it is closely monitored and there is the facility to report anyone that you believe is not who they say that they are.

It’s funny but the more profiles and people that I had contact with it soon became apparent who was for real and who wasn’t. I hate to say this but I was always wary of any man who was 6ft 4 and extremely good looking who stated that he had a high flying career as a doctor or such like, earning 100k plus. Now I am not saying that such people do not join dating sites by any means but what I found common with quite a few of these profiles was that their grammar and spelling was sadly lacking. Don’t get me wrong I am not the best in the world and I admit that I myself am an avid user of the spellcheck facility on my laptop.

After logging on to the site one evening I received a long email from one gentleman who’s profile read very positively and his photo was to die for. However the email was full of spelling mistakes and it was obvious he was not who he professed to be. He claimed to be a doctor, which made me smile because he could not even spell the word. His email read in poor English and he repeated himself over and over.

Sometimes I admit out of devilment I play along just to see if I can trip these people up and once they know that you are on to them they quickly disappear. They tend to ask for your personal email because they would love to know more about you. They also seem to become very affectionate too, some even professing love before they even know you.

The other emails I did receive were from men who professed to be God fearing looking for their spare rib, usually they were widowed with a young son or daughter, very respectful and very flattering regarding any photographs they had viewed.

Men on the site have told me that they get contacted by younger ladies and although they are very flattered they realize that there may be an ulterior motive for the contact, some even falling prey and sending someone money when they are asked to do so.

I always always report any person that I have any doubts about and would advise anyone else to do the same.  It is impossible for any site to eliminate scammers completely but with all the members watching out for such like scams it does keep them down.

All in all I do think that the Mature Free and Single website is an excellent way to meet the person of your dreams, just be sensible keep your head, don’t be charmed and happy hunting.

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Happy Birthday to me :-)

I woke up feeling a little depressed. It was my birthday another year older. Why is it when we are younger we want to be older and when we are older we want to be younger! I switched on the radio and then turned on my laptop and logged on to the Mature Free and Single website. I noticed I had half a dozen emails in my inbox and opened the first one. Happy birthday to you it said. I was a bit taken aback, how did he know that it was my birthday. I looked at my profile and noted that my age had changed which made me smile no hiding anything on this site lol

I read my other emails one of which was from a new member who told me that he had been looking through the profiles and had seen that it said it was my birthday so he thought it was a good ice breaker to drop me an email.

He was quite cute and lived fairly near to me so I quickly sent him an email in return thanking him. He immediately replied and asked me if I was going out celebrating that evening. I said I had nothing planned and he said would I like to have a chat online around 7pm I said I would and smiling logged off to get ready for work.

After an eventful day at work in which I was in demand or maybe it was the bun run which I financed! I returned home with a bag full of cards and a bunch of flowers from my workmates. After my birthday meal for one I Iogged on to the dating site to see if my new friend was around. I had a few more emails from the friends I had accumulated in the time I had joined the site wishing me a happy birthday and I had replied thanking them when my new friend instant messaged me.

I felt the tingle of excitement which I always felt when a new person contacts me, I think it because I always think this could be the one for me. Don’t get me wrong I am having a ball meeting and getting to know new people but like most people on the site I was hoping that my Mr. Right would appear.

We spent the next hour and half getting to know each other via instant messages. His name was Gareth and he was a month younger than me which he was quick to point out saying that he could be my toy boy.

He worked as an electrician and had been separated for the last two years and like me he was a bit fed up with the occasional night out which did not lead to meeting his potential partner, so after a lot of research he too had come to the conclusion that the Mature Free and Single website was the site for him. He too had looked at the other sites which catered for all ages but he really did not want to be contacted by women the same age as his daughters.

Mmmm Gareth was certainly my type of man. We agreed to chat again the following night and I logged off with a smile on my face.

To be continued.

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