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Dating & Friendship for the Over 40s...
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Friends or More ?

I signed on to my laptop to find an email from the Mature Free and Single website letting me know of new members who had just joined. I was interested to see that there were a few new members who lived quite close to where I lived. I quickly sent them an email welcoming them to the site one thing I was learning was that it was better to contact someone rather than sitting back waiting for people to email me.

I was reading the diaries when I got a reply from one of the new members thanking me for my email and asking me what I thought of the site. It was the first time he had ever joined a dating site and I think he was a little bit apprehensive so he was looking for some reassurances, which believe me I was happy to give.

His name was Harry and he was delighted that I had sent him an email and enquired as to how long I had been on the site and if I had been out on any dates. I replied saying that I thought the site was brilliant and yes I had been out on several dates in the few months that I had been on the site.

I went on to tell him a few amusing stories of the characters that I had come across on the site and then suggested we use the chat facility which made communicating quicker.  He told me that he was looking for friendships because it was only a year since he had broken up from a long term relationship.

I told him that I had put that I was looking for friendship too but if I met someone special then I hoped it would lead to more. He was telling me that he was a sales rep and covered a large area which meant he was away for a couple of nights a week,  he enjoyed his work but felt rather lonely on a weekend. This I could relate to because when your busy during the week meeting someone is not always something you think about.

I told him that sometimes I did feel rather lonely and that the site had filled a gap for me and I now had lots of friends from all over Britain. Harry asked me what I thought about ice breakers and I said each to their own but I preferred the personal touch, saying when I email someone I always use their name and that I preferred it when people did the same to me.

He told me he kept getting winked at and asked me what he should do. I laughed and said if you like the look of them wink back because that shows you are interested. That scared him a bit which amused me no end.

We continued chatting and he told me that he liked to visit a nearby sculpture park and he was going there on Sunday. I smiled to myself I knew what was coming next.

Would you like to meet me there Harry said, just as a friend! Sure I replied one can never have enough friends 🙂

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The importance of a good profile

I logged on to the Mature Free and Single website feeling positive. I had been writing more and more diary entries and was really getting in to the flow of the site. This site is different from the others; by this I mean the site is so flexible.

Most dating sites are obviously quite serious in the fact that it is just purely dating. On the Mature Free and Single website I can look to build up my friendships or potential partners. I had already made several friends mainly through my diary entries and every time I visited the site I could usually find someone to chat to about various topics.

I was reading through all the diary entries when I noticed an entry from Richard who was a new member and he was complaining that no one was replying to his emails. I looked at his profile and it became pretty obvious to me why he was not getting a positive response. His profile was stilted and short and his photograph showed him on a holiday in which he was a mere spec in the distance.

Oh Richard, I thought, is it any wonder you are not getting positive responses. I quickly penned an email saying “Hi Richard, I’ve just seen your diary entry and thought I would send you an email. In the ladies defence I am sure that you are a very nice guy but your profile does not do you justice. Have you ever heard the saying you only get one chance to make a first impression?

Please don’t think I am being critical but I am sure there is more you can say about yourself.” I sent the email thinking, Please don’t be offended Richard I am trying to help you. Five minutes later an email landed back from Richard saying “Hi there, thanks for your email I can see what you mean but I find it so hard to write about myself it took me ten attempts to write what I have. I don’t suppose you could help me write something?”

I replied back saying “Sure, let me ask you some questions.” I then typed in some standard questions. What do you enjoy doing in your spare time? How would you describe yourself are you shy, quiet, outgoing? What music do you like? Who is your ideal woman and what would be your ideal first date. I sent the email back to him and could immediately tell that he had a good sense of humour by his reply.

I laughed to myself so his ideal woman would have a pulse then! I rewrote his profile for him from his own words which made him sound completely different from the stilted version he had written and sent it back along with the advice “Oh and let’s see a close up photo”.

Half an hour later I received an email from Richard saying, “Thanks for the excellent advice, I can’t believe it I am now receiving emails from women!” I looked at his profile which read completely different to the previous one and noticed he had uploaded a very nice photograph too. You are welcome Richard I wrote back and no more negative diary entries please along with a smiley face.

I then smiled to myself and logged off the site.

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Honest Profiles Please

 

I logged on to the Mature Free and Single website and noticed instantly that Phil was online. Phil and I had been chatting on and off for a few months and he had asked me several times to meet up for a coffee. For some reason something kept holding me back from accepting a date. He came across just a little bit over confident for me.

Just then an email landed in my inbox from Phil saying. “Hello, so when are you going to admit that you are just dying to meet me”. I smiled to myself, talk about persistent but I did not want lead him on when I was not really feeling it.

Hi Phil I replied:  “How are you tonight?”  Phil replied back saying “I am great thanks” and then asked me again to meet up for a coffee. I pondered on it for a few minutes and then thought oh well why not I had nothing else planned. 

We arranged to meet in a Garden Center part way between where we both lived the following Saturday. I read his profile again and was pleased that he had put that he was 6ft so he was taller than me.

When Saturday arrived I dressed casually in jeans and a smart blouse with a nice pair of shoes with quite a high heel, knowing that he would be a good bit taller than me. I felt rather nervous; I think that is only normal though, due to the fact that I was meeting someone for the very first time.

I drove to the Garden Center and arrived five minutes early, he had told me that he drove a black Merc with his own registration plate Phil 007. Hmm a bit ostentatious I thought but each to their own.

I saw the moment his car entered the car park and I sat a little bit lower in my car feeling rather overcome by shyness. He parked near the entrance and opened his car door and jumped out.

OMG I was shocked, if he was five foot 5 I was being generous. He saw my car down the car park and he started walking towards me. I looked round to see if I had left any other shoes in my car that were flat but no such luck so I opened my door and stepped out with my 5ft 7inch height made higher by 3inch heels.

I towered over him as he stood on his tip toes and I bent forward so he could kiss my cheek. I was so embarrassed he did not seem to be bothered at all. We walked into the garden center and found the coffee shop and I sat down while he bought a couple of coffees

Now don’t get me wrong I don’t mind shorter men if they are honest about it, but to blatantly lie does not sit well with me and I could feel my annoyance rising.  He sat down with the coffees all smiles. Phil I said I am not being funny but doesn’t your profile say your 6ft tall?  Oh yeah he said, but I found that I could get more dates if I added a few inches on my original height. 

The date went downhill from that point, I was polite and we drank our coffees and said our goodbyes never to meet again. Word of warning to everyone; be honest on your profile.

Honesty pays.

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First Impressions

 

He was standing near the bar with his back to me which gave me a chance to take in the fact that he had made an effort he was wearing a light grey suit, something made him turn around and our eyes met and we both started to smile and walk towards one another.

“Hello John” I said and we gave each other a hug and a kiss on the cheek. It felt so strange after talking to someone for months online, then on the phone and now meeting in person. Online dating seems to accelerate everything and somehow you feel like you really know a person before you actually meet them. My way of describing this would be that you get to know a person inside out if that makes sense.  It’s more a case of getting to know their thoughts and feelings about things. Yes you have a photograph to look at but until you meet in person you do not get the full take of someone.

He asked me what I wanted to drink and I said a coffee would be fine and we sat down at a nearby table just smiling at each other. I kept repeating this is so bizarre  I am sat with John from the site after months of talking and never thinking that we would ever meet.

He laughed and said well distance is only a problem if you let it be, I had to agree and if I am honest long distance relationships tend to give you quality time as opposed to a few hours here and there.   We drank our drinks and decided to order a meal we were so similar in our likes and dislikes we both ordered fish and sat back waiting for it to arrive.

It had taken him six and a half hours to get from his house to our meeting place. “Aren’t you tired” I asked him; “Not at all”, he replied “it was a good run over and I just kept thinking every mile is bringing me closer to you”.  This made me laugh, “Are you trying to charm me now John” I asked him.

Our meal arrived and we continued to chat about anything and everything, there were no awkward silences, I knew there would not be it felt so natural, I felt like I had known him all my life.  We decided to push the boat out and have a dessert, bread and butter pudding with lots of custard real comfort food although I did not feel that I needed comforting.

He was everything that I had hoped for and more, to see someone in the flesh is so different from a photograph and I loved the way he laughed. We ordered a coffee and he reached his hand across the table towards mine. I knew that we were meant to meet as soon as I saw your photograph he said. Something told me that you were a very special lady and now that we have met in person I know I was right.

It would seem that long distance was not going to cause us any problems but time would tell.  

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Richard & Frankie’s dating success story

It’s just fantastic to start the weekend by sharing our latest dating success story with you. This one’s from Richard & Frankie who met on our site in May, 2013.

“Good morning

Just thought we’d drop you a line to let you know. We both joined your site April 2013. We had our first ” meeting” 11.05.2013.

We are due to get married 12.07.2014.

We wouldn’t have met if we hadn’t joined your site, thank you.

Richard & Frankie”

Thanks for letting us know, both of you, and all the very best for the future from everyone at FreeAndSingle Towers! We’ll be sure to send you a little something for your big day!!

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Long Distance

 

I was logged on to the Mature Free and Single website talking to my long distance buddy. He was telling me that although he knew we lived six and a half hours away from each other, he still felt that he would like to get to know me more and would I be willing to give it a try to see how things would develop.

I had read so many success stories about couples that lived miles away from each other, but would a long distance relationship suit us. I agreed with him that it would be such a shame if we did not at least give it a go. So the following night we were on the phone for three hours chatting to each other non stop and both our diary entries read the same “Do long distance relationships work” I had to laugh we are so alike even in what we wrote in our diary entries.

For the next 4 nights we chatted for hours at a time and then John came up with the idea of meeting each other, he suggested coming up to see me, saying that he would stay in a hotel near to where I lived  and asked me how did I feel about that.  I was excited but worried what if he travelled the six and a half hours driveand thenwentto the expense of paying for a hotel and then we did not connect!

Surely after all the hours chatting on the site, then on the phone I would know!  The fact remains that until you see someone face to face you don’t know. This is the reason that I personally believe that it’s not worth being a pen pal for months and months, because it’s better to meet and see if the chemistry is really there.

I agreed it was a good idea and starting making plans myself for when he was to arrive which was the following Friday. I decided that I would cook a few meals for us after he had gone to the expense of travelling and the cost of the accommodation.

The day he was due to arrive I was a nervous wreck I cleaned my house from top to bottom and was watching the clock. At 3pm in the afternoon I got a phone call letting me know that he was in the hotel just minutes away from my home. That was such a good feeling but oh so scary too (but in a nice way).

We arranged to meet at 4pm and I tried on a few outfits until I had decided on the right one. I knew he was going to be very smart and I wanted to look good because you only have one chance to make a first impression. Once ready I drove the short distance to the hotel and walked toward the entrance.

My heart wasbeating so fast with so many thoughts going through my mind, would he like me, would I like him and then I saw him for the very first time.

To be continued.

 

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