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Dating & Friendship for the Over 40s...

Top Five Dating Don’ts

Having been on many first dates that also became last dates – I’d love to share my tips on what NOT to do in the early days of dating. 

It never ceases to amaze (and amuse) me when I talk to senior singles about their date’s shameful behavior.  Or, worse still, their own cringe-worthy episodes.

Although the rules of dating seem pretty clear, sometimes we all need a reminder about what NOT to do.  So here’s my Top Five Dating Don’ts:

DONT bang on about the ex:

“I hadn’t even had my first sip of Chablis when he started telling me about his ex-wife’s new lover.”  Talking about your ex on a first date is just not cool.  It also rings out deafeningly loud alarm bells that you’re still not over your previous partner and simply not ready to move on.  Yes, we all need to take the plunge sometime and second-time-around dating is inevitably going to be a journey laden with a certain amount of baggage.  But seriously, this is the last conversation you should be having on a first date.



DON’T diss the opposite sex:

This is another first date faux pas that happens with alarming regularity.  Ladies – you’re never going to bag the man of your dreams unless you drop that “Huh!  Typical men!” attitude.  Gentleman – all women are NOT the same.  Just because your ex cheated on you doesn’t mean your new girlfriend will.  (Unless you drive her to it with your raging paranoia).  To find true love you must date with an open mind and a happy heart.


DON’T forget to wash:

This might sound like an odd one but I went on a date last summer with a guy who was remarkably whiffy.  Yes it was hot in London that day, but come on! B.O. is always a no-no. Nobody aspires to getting down and dirty with someone who is… well… just plain dirty.  Even if you’re meeting after work, a quick freshen up before the date is mandatory. Ladies the same goes for you. Let’s all keep it clean.


Go easy on the martinis

DON’T get drunk:

This might be an obvious one and it’s the most basic first date rule.  But you’ve still been guilty of it, right?  Don’t get me wrong.  Getting tipsy with someone you’ve never met before can be a blast.  But sh!t-faced is NEVER a good look.  And please don’t tell me it’s Dutch Courage.  If you’re that nervous about meeting someone new, go and spend some time with your therapist before embarking on your next date.


And finally… DON’T let her pay:

Sorry but I’m very old fashioned when it comes to this one. If a man doesn’t pick up the tab on date one – there’s not going to be a date two.  I don’t care how big or small the bill is – boys, you simply MUST pay.  I once had a second date (dinner at a swanky restaurant of his choice) with a nice man called Andrew.  He paid with his credit card.  It got rejected.  Epic fail. Chaps – step up and cough up, or ship out.



Have you ever encountered some seriously shocking behavior on a first date?  We’d love to hear about it!  Comment below.

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